4. How to Have Those Tricky Money Conversations (Without Losing Your Mind or Your Relationships)

Hey there, lovely people! I’m Leeann Cook, a celebrant and all-round wedding enthusiast, and today we’re talking about one of the least romantic but most important parts of wedding planning: money. Yep, we’re diving into how to have those tricky money conversations—whether that’s with your parents, your partner, or your bridal party. Because here’s the truth: money can make or break the joy of wedding planning. But handled right, it becomes the foundation for teamwork, transparency, and trust. So grab a cuppa, take a deep breath, and let’s make talking about money feel a whole lot less awkward, and a whole lot more graceful.

Part 1: Talking to Your Parents About Contributing

Let’s start with the big one—asking your parents or family if they plan to contribute.

Now, before you even go there, take some time with your partner to work out your own expectations and boundaries.

Ask yourselves:

• What’s our ideal budget?

• What can we afford on our own?

• What kind of help would genuinely make a difference?

Once you’ve done that, approach the topic with curiosity, not expectation.

Try a gentle opening like this:

“Mum, Dad, we’re starting to put together our wedding budget and just wanted to check if you were thinking of contributing in any way—and if not, that’s completely okay.”

This way, you’re opening a respectful conversation, not delivering a financial guilt trip.

If they do want to contribute, be clear about how that works: are they giving you a set amount to manage, or do they want to pay directly for certain parts, like catering or flowers?

Pro Tip: Get it in writing. Not like a legal contract, but a shared notes doc or spreadsheet where everyone can see what’s been agreed to. It avoids misunderstandings later and keeps everyone’s good intentions intact.

Part 2: The Partner Money Chat

Now let’s talk about you two. If you haven’t already had a real talk about your individual finances—now’s the time.

It doesn’t need to be scary—just honest.

You could say:

“I’d love for us to sit down and look at what we’re each comfortable contributing, and what our priorities are. That way, we’re planning from a place of teamwork.”

You’re not just talking about this wedding—you’re learning how to make big financial decisions together. And that skill will serve you well long after the honeymoon’s over.

Part 3: Should the Bridal Party Pay for Their Own Attire, Hair & Makeup?

Alright—onto another hot topic: should your bridal party pay for their attire, hair and makeup?

There’s no one-size-fits-all answer here. Traditionally, bridesmaids paid for their own dresses and beauty services—but expectations have shifted, and so have budgets.

If you can afford to cover it—amazing. It’s a beautiful gesture of appreciation. But if you can’t? That’s totally okay. The key is how you frame the conversation.

Here’s a graceful way to say it:

“I’d love for you to be part of my bridal party—it means so much to me. I want to be upfront that I’m not able to cover hair, makeup, and dresses, but I’ll do everything I can to keep costs low and make sure everyone feels comfortable.”

This lets them make an informed choice, avoids awkward assumptions, and keeps your friendship strong.

And remember—your bridal party shouldn’t go into debt for your big day. If someone can’t afford to participate, let them bow out gracefully. They can still have a special role, just not a financially stressful one.

Part 4: Keep Communication Open

The golden rule for all of this? Talk early, talk clearly, talk kindly.

Money doesn’t have to be awkward if you approach it with empathy and respect. Because your wedding isn’t just about one day—it’s about the relationships that will be there long after the confetti’s gone.

If you found this helpful, grab your free wedding budget planner over at leeanncook.com/weddingbudget —it’ll help you map out exactly where your money’s going, and keep things transparent and stress-free.

Until next time—keep planning with heart, not just spreadsheets. 💕

Leeann Cook

Melbourne Civil Celebrant / Online Wedding Planner

Get in touch.